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BDSM & Trauma Healing Retreat
November 8-10, 2024
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Ever found yourself at a crossroads, wondering how to explore BDSM in a way that feels joyful, expansive, authentic?
You’re not alone if you’ve been scouring the internet for resources, only to find yourself going down rabbit holes that lead nowhere near where you need to be.
Most BDSM educators don’t have the tools, resources, knowledge, or roadmaps to help you navigate the oh-so-tricky landscape of experiencing kink when past trauma is part of your luggage.
But guess what? Your BDSM exploration & trauma healing journey deserve to be welcomed and celebrated in the same room.
Imagine stepping into a world where your deepest desires and your healing journey not only coexist but fuel each other. 🌟
Here’s what’s waiting for you there…
- You’re greeted with open arms and understanding hearts because the facilitators and other folx in the room are there for the exact same reason you are.
- You can articulate what feels good and what doesn’t (aka, your boundaries and limits) with confidence that’s rooted in deep self-awareness.
- You’ve discovered that exploring your kinks doesn’t mean leaving your past at the door, and you have tools to integrate it into your BDSM play in healing and incredibly fulfilling ways.
- You feel lighter and freer, the natural result that comes from embracing your whole self, quirks, desires, and all.
- You’re surrounded by folx who really get it and support you because they’ve been there too, and you share your struggles, celebrations, and breakthroughs together.
Ready to find that space where every part of you is welcome? Let’s make it happen! 🚀
This is where your journey of healing and self-discovery within the BDSM world is not just understood but celebrated.
Here’s what’s waiting for you there…
- You’re greeted with open arms and understanding hearts because the facilitators and other folx in the room are there for the exact same reason you are.
- You practice the art of communicating boundaries with the finesse of a poet and the clarity of a seasoned negotiator.
- You feel liberated that you can articulate what feels good and what doesn’t (aka, your boundaries and limits) with confidence that’s rooted in deep self-awareness.
- You’ve discovered that exploring your kinks doesn’t mean leaving your past at the door, and you have tools to integrate it into your BDSM play in healing and incredibly fulfilling ways.
- You feel lighter and freer, the natural result that comes from embracing your whole self, quirks, desires, and all.
- You’re surrounded by folx who really get it and support you because they’ve been there too, and you share your struggles, celebrations, and breakthroughs together.
Ready to find that space where every part of you is welcome? Let’s make it happen! 🚀
Hi there, I’m Kelly Noel (they/she)! 🌈
Have you ever felt like you’re on a merry-go-round of exploring your desires, but every time you reach out to go further, it just… slips away?
That’s exactly why I created Bound to Heal: A Trauma Healing & BDSM Retreat.
It’s the secret garden of retreats for those of us who are ready to dive deep into healing, all while embracing the thrilling world of BDSM.
It’s about turning what ifs into hell yes moments! 🎢✨
After doing the tango with my own shadows—deconstructing from Catholicism; coming out as a queer, kinky, poly, non-binary human; and navigating relationships that felt more like quicksand than solid ground—I realized something important.
There was a glaring lack of spaces where folx like us could explore our kinks and heal our wounds (at the same time!) without judgment or fear.
So, I zipped up my leather boots and decided to create what I wished existed (and what my community was begging me for!).
Bound to Heal is more than just an event; it’s a journey we embark on together, with trusted maps (workshops), cozy campfires (social gatherings), and treasure hunts (BDSM play parties) guiding us along the way.
It’s for anyone who’s ever felt lost at sea in their quest for self-understanding and connection.
Whether you’re dipping your toes into BDSM for the first time or you’re a seasoned sailor of the kink world, there’s a place for you here.
Together, we’ll chart a course towards uncharted territories of empowerment, understanding, and maybe a little bit of mischief. 😉
So, what do you say—are you ready to set sail with me? 🚀💖
Ready to embark on a transformative journey?
Discover Healing & Connection At…
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A BDSM & Trauma Healing Retreat
November 8-10, 2024
Where your journey of self-discovery meets the world of BDSM in the most nurturing way possible. 🌟
At Bound to Heal, we’re rolling out the red carpet for trauma survivors, kink-curious souls, and seasoned kinksters alike, offering educational workshops, social opportunities, and BDSM play designed to enrich your emotional and psychological well-being.
Dive into an experience that promises empowerment, safer exploration, and a community that gets it – all wrapped up in a weekend you’ll never forget!
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Retreat Details
When: November 8-10, 2024
Where: Montgomery, Illinois
The retreat venue is a dedicated kink space with BDSM equipment, with a full kitchen for us to use. Exact location information will be shared after you purchase your ticket.
Snacks & Meals
We’ve got you covered from dawn till dusk with nutritious meals and snacks. All you need to get is an Airbnb nearby!
9 Retreat Sessions
Attend workshops on trauma healing, BDSM soft skills, and BDSM techniques, led by seasoned professionals. 10+ hours of education.
Safety First, Always
At our core is a commitment to safety, confidentiality, and consent, creating an environment where respect reigns supreme.
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2 BDSM Play Parties
Not one, but two bespoke BDSM play parties with equipment await! Immerse yourself in scenes that are enriching and thrilling.
Play & Socialization
Ample time to connect with other retreat attendees and build stronger bonds, and not just during play parties. We’re bringing games!
What We’ll Do
Retreat activities are subject to change based on the needs of the participants during the event, but this structure will stay (mostly) the same.
Friday, November 8
- 5:00pm: Attendees can begin arriving; drinks, snacks, & appetizers available; optional social time
- 6:30pm: Session 1 – Welcome: Intros, Agreements, Intentions, Reiki Healing Process
- 7:30pm: Session 2 – Trauma-Sensitive BDSM Negotiation Workshop & Practice
- 9:00pm: BDSM Play Party begins at retreat venue; attendees can also engage in social/reflection time
- 11:00pm: Quiet time, journaling, integration support
- 12:00am: Play party ends; attendees leave until 8:00am
Saturday, November 9
- 8:00am: Continental breakfast available
- 9:00am: Session 3 – All About Trauma: Traffic Light Framework, Rewriting Trauma, 3 Layers of Trauma Healing
- 10:30am: Break
- 11:00am: Session 4 – Bondage for Beginners & Trauma Survivors (Zeva) or Practical Rope Lab (Guest)
- 12:00pm: Lunch
- 1:00pm: Session 5 – Conscious Kink: Nuances of Informed Consent, Kink + Trauma, Energy Play & Sex Magic 101
- 2:30pm: Break
- 3:00pm: Session 6 – Authentic Scene Creation for Trauma Survivors (Zeva) or Experiential Impact and S&M Workshop (Guest)
- 4:00pm: Session 7 – BDSM for Trauma Healing (MultiStim Processing 101)
- 5:30pm: Dinner & social time
- 7:00pm: BDSM Play Party begins at retreat venue
- 11:00pm: Quiet time, journaling, integration support
- 12:00am: Play party ends; attendees leave until 8:00am
Sunday, November 10
- 8:00am: Continental breakfast available
- 9:00am: Session 8 – Aftercare & Managing Drop
- 10:30am: Break
- 11:00am: Session 9 – Closing circle, Q&A, processing, takeaways
- 12:00pm: Retreat ends; attendees leave retreat venue
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Ready to claim your space at Bound to Heal?
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Happy Students
These comments are from a different BDSM & sexual trauma healing workshop series I facilitated since this is the first time I’m leading this in-person retreat.
![Untitled design (36)](https://i0.wp.com/kellynoelzeva.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Untitled-design-36.png?resize=1080%2C607&ssl=1)
Values Check
These are some of my core values, especially those that are specifically related to the retreat. If we don’t align on these, please don’t give me your money. My work and this retreat are not for you.
- Love is love. Queer love in all its forms is beautiful, sacred, and deserves equal protection under the law.
- Trans lives matter. Increasingly, trans and gender-diverse people are facing outrageous scrutiny and policing simply for existing, and young trans people are being killed in hate crimes. This is a queer- and trans-friendly space. Transphobia and trans fetishization are unwelcome here.
- Pronouns matter. For many trans and gender-diverse people, having their correct pronouns be used is a matter emotional & psychological safety. We will not require people to share their pronouns, AND we do expect all attendees to do their best to use people’s gender pronouns correctly and appropriately without defensiveness. If someone gently corrects you about their pronouns, it is a form of kindness. Take it in stride.
- Consent is sexy and necessary. No means no. Maybe means no. Ask for verbal consent before touching someone, commenting on their body, or any sort of negotiation/play. If you get a “no” or a “maybe” from someone, wait for them to approach you instead of asking again. Thank them for honoring their boundaries. We will cover this more thoroughly at the retreat.
- Kink-shaming is yucky. Don’t yuck someone else’s yum. As long as it is fully consensual between adults and does not cause lasting harm (i.e., diminish the long-term ability of someone to experience and enjoy life and pursue happiness), keep your thoughts to yourself. If you need help processing what you’re seeing or experiencing, ask a member of our team for support.
Are we in alignment here?
💸 Let’s Talk Numbers 💸
The nitty-gritty of what’s included and what the cost is.
If you’re planning on coming with a partner and want to share the same bed, please reach out via email.
Everything That's Included
- 3 meals included (breakfast Saturday & Sunday, lunch on Saturday) + snacks/appetizers in the evening + coffee, tea, & other beverages
- All retreat materials, including journals and art journaling supplies
- 12+ hours of transformative educational sessions, because knowledge is power (and also super sexy)!
- Socialization time for making connections that could last a lifetime. Who doesn’t love new friends?
- Two mind-blowing in-person BDSM play parties (7 hours of BDSM play, including access to BDSM furniture) – let’s explore those boundaries in a safe and empowering way!
- BONUS: 60-minute Voxer Power Hour coaching session with Zeva to help you prepare for the retreat (value: $150)
You pay: $600
Split pay of $300 x 2 available at no additional cost. All payments must be received no later than November 1, 2024.
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Ready to claim your space at Bound to Heal?
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You’ve got questions. I’ve got answers.
Are meals and lodging included in the price, and can you cater to specific dietary needs?
Four meals are included in the price (breakfast on Saturday and Sunday, lunch on Saturday, dinner on Saturday), and we’ll laso have snacks and appetizers available during break times, including the longer dinner breaks. Lodging is NOT included in this price. As such, we encourage you to secure lodging for yourself for Friday and Saturday night.
Once we’ve confirmed our attendees, we will send out a more detailed questionnaire, which will include questions about dietary needs, restrictions, and allergies, which will help us plan & determine the menu(s) that we will offer.
What kind of activities can I expect at the BDSM play parties, and how do you ensure they're safe and consensual?
The kinds of activities are up to you! You are empowered to negotiate (and play) with anyone who strikes your fancy. Most commonly, you can expect to see impact play (e.g., flogging, beating), bondage (e.g., self-tying), and sexual play.
While we encourage you to use the skills and tools that you learn at the retreat to make sure things are (and stay) consensual, here’s a few precautions that we take:
- Using RED as a universal safeword. If RED is called during the retreat, all play in that scene stops. If a DM hears someone call RED, they will ensure that play ends.
- Limited kinds of play. Because we are renting the space and have a limited team size, we will NOT allow medical play or fire play at this event, nor will we have the mechanisms to allow suspension.
- Dungeon Monitor (DMs). We will have at least one DM patrolling the play space at any given time to make sure that everything is going smoothly. Any rough body play, take-down play, or consensual non-consent (CNC) must be approved by a DM in advance.
- First aid kits. We will have a dedicated first aid kit of supplies, including band-aids, gauze, ibuprofen, and other necessary materials. Team members will be able to notify each other if someone needs emergency care.
- Cleaning supplies. To ensure hygiene in the space, we ask that people clean any furniture/equipment used after their scene. Our team will provide the necessary cleaning supplies to ensure things remain hygenic.
- Safer sex supplies. If things are going to get sexy, it’s important that we practice safer sex. We will have condoms, lube, and other safer sex supplies available to ensure that you can get your groove thang on safely during the event. That said, be sure to ask about most recent test results and other partners if you’re playing with someone new.
- Having a debrief window after the party. The first hour after the party ends is a time when members of our team are available for processing, 1-on-1 chats, and other emotional support. It’s there for you for a reason. Take us up on it!
There is always some risk when doing kink/BDSM activities. We strongly encourage you only to do scenes you feel good about (it’s okay if they stretch you a bit). When in doubt, ask a member of our team or a DM for support or assistance.
Can you tell me more about the educational sessions? What topics will they cover?
Most of the educational sessions will cover how to process, heal, and navigate trauma; BDSM soft skills like negotiation; and BDSM techniques like bondage and impact play. Please see the retreat itinerary for a full listing of the workshops and educational sessions we plan to host at the retreat as we are still updating the full list.
I'm a bit nervous about attending alone. Will there be opportunities to connect with others before the retreat starts?
Yes! We will have a virtual community that will open up for attendees before the event. That’s a great way to connect with other attendees ahead of time and get to know the people you’ll be interacting with. We’ll be a small group — only 8-10 participants + my small team of 2-3 people — so you’ll get to know everyone pretty well by the end of the event.
The first night of the retreat will also be centered around social and “get-to-know-you” activities. So, even if you don’t join the virtual community ahead of time, the first night of the retreat should ease some of your fears.
How do you accommodate different levels of experience with BDSM, from beginners to seasoned kinksters?
Great question! A lot of the educational content is going to be great for beginners, and it’s also key foundational things that seasoned kinksters often need a refresh on. In many of the retreat sessions, we’ll have times for journaling and activities, so you can apply what you’re learning in a way that’s appropriate for you and where you’re at.
While I’m still confirming all the workshops, I also hope to have more than 1 workshop available during most afternoon time slots so that people can attend whichever session is more in line with their interests and experience. For example, the workshop currently listed for bondage is “Bondage for Beginners & Trauma Survivors,” but I also hope to have a “Practical Rope Lab” session running at the same time so that more practiced riggers & rope bunnies can uplevel their skills.
Last, there’s the two BDSM play parties. You can attend how you want: as an observer, as an active participant, or not at all. These BDSM play parties are a great opportunity for you to apply the skills you’ve learned (or revisited) in a way that feels supportive and meaningful for you.
How is this retreat different from other BDSM events or workshops out there?
Oh, I’m so glad you asked! There’s a lot of BDSM play parties out there, but most of them are private parties that require invites, or they’re larger events. They’re also for a single evening (4-6 hours) and typically don’t incorporate any educational elements. It’s a bunch of kinksters getting together and playing.
There’s also a number of hotel takeovers and professional BDSM conferences that exist, which do have educational workshops and dungeons for play in the evening. However, those often bring in 600-1,000+ attendees, so the feeling is very different. There’s also not a huge focus on trauma healing… the most trauma-focused conference I attended still only had two workshops on kink + trauma, which is only 2 hours of trauma education.
In contrast, this event is small and professional, which allows it to be highly personalized and supportive. I expect we’ll have 10-15 attendees, and trauma healing is a huge focus of the event. The BDSM play parties are also shorter so that you don’t feel overwhelmed with all sorts of kinky play happening at all hours. You won’t have to compete for furniture, and you can probably get 2-3 scenes in each night if you do want to play lots.
Another difference is that we’ll offer virtual tickets in case anyone wants to be part of the retreat but can’t come in person (either because we sell out of in-person tickets, or because of cost restrictions). Most events only have in-person tickets available, which limits their capacity.
Seriously, there’s not an event out there like this (at least, that I know of). It’s going to be epic, and you don’t want to miss out.
I'm planning to attend with a partner. Do you have a discount available?
Great question! A ticket is required for each person who plans to attend the retreat, whether it’s in-person or virtual. If you’re looking to help fund your experience at Bound to Heal, please consider applying to become an affiliate.
I'm interested in getting a virtual ticket for this event. When will those go on sale, and how much will they cost?
Since the event isn’t until November, virtual tickets for this event will go on sale in September at the ealiest. Standard pricing for virtual tickets will be $197 each. We will livestream most of the retreat sessions, and you will be able to participate in the event in real-time. Additional details about the virtual version of the retreat will be available this fall.
I have a question that's not answered here.
Great! Send me an email at hello@kellynoelzeva.com, and I’ll answer it for you!